Healing childhood trauma & CPTSD

Why childhood trauma is important

Childhood and trauma — are two words that can stir strong emotions in many of us when spoken aloud. It is painful to talk about, we naturally don’t want to face it. How can we as human beings, as a society, and as adults cause such immense harm to innocent little children? When the topic arises, it often forces us to look inward briefly; for many, this is indeed a painful experience.

“Surely we’re being too sensitive?”

“Everyone has childhood trauma”

“Just get over it, it was so long ago”

“Others had it worse”

Childhood trauma has a profound impact on us. Our bodies and brains are deeply shaped by our early years. Although our childhood trauma does not define us, as there is always an opportunity for healing, it does immensely shape who we become as adults. 

It is uncomfortable but we can not stay quiet in this arena. Our lives and well-being depend on it, both as individuals and as a society.  Our health in every aspect; mental, physical, relationships, life trajectory, and quality of life—is deeply tied to the caregiving and experiences we had in our formative years.

Why is childhood trauma/complex trauma so misunderstood? 

We live in a society and within a Mental Health system that doesn’t fully acknowledge the impact of childhood trauma yet, this means that many of us don’t have the framework to truly understand how affected we might be by our childhoods, or being able to have the framework to recognise that there might have been emotional neglect or emotional abuse. 

Emotional neglect and verbal abuse are very often overshadowed forms of childhood trauma in light of sexual and physical abuse, but this is incredibly misleading, as emotional neglect and verbal abuse have the same impact on the developing brain and body of a child as physical and sexual abuse. They are extremely harmful. When a child doesn’t feel safe with their caregivers, there is an immense impact on their development.

Some of you reading this might be sure that you have experienced childhood trauma and understand that it is affecting your well-being negatively now as an adult. For others, you might still not be sure if you had childhood trauma, but you feel like something wasn’t right, you might have big gaps of your childhood that you don’t remember. You feel stuck with your mental well-being and might have started to look at your childhood and your caregivers in a different light lately, leading to a lot of confusion. If you suspect you have childhood trauma, you most likely do. Reading this article is a positive step towards healing.

Complex trauma 

Childhood trauma is often also referred to as complex trauma.

Complex trauma means prolonged traumatic experiences that happen over a longer period, often within relationships, such as abuse or neglect from one's caregivers. When our families and homes don't feel safe or nurturing enough, we develop coping skills to help us survive. As adults, we continue these patterns, and it is simply heartbreaking, as it affects our capacity to live, love, and be loved.

When experiencing Complex trauma, our bodies and brains, our sense of being gets shaped under toxic stress and fear, and we become scared organisms. Some live with a deep sense of shame and emotional dysregulation, fighting a war every single day with countless triggers. The aftermath is on a spectrum, and there are many factors involved that impact the aftermath and symptoms of one's early experiences, it is clear that all complex trauma is harmful to the developing child.

Many childhood trauma/complex trauma survivors appear to function well in the world and can maintain jobs, friendships, and relationships. However, there can be deep suffering underneath it all, with extreme levels of anxiety, flashbacks, shame, addictions and coping strategies. Others are so affected that they can’t manage to hold down a job due to their mental health. Some might end up on the streets, homeless and with addictions. Wherever you are on the spectrum, it needs attention so you can heal and live a better life. Unresolved childhood trauma keeps us both mentally and physically ill; we all deserve to heal and unlock our potential to live our lives to the fullest.

Why mainstream therapy offers are often ineffective for complex trauma

If you are new to this topic, this might seem a bit odd at first, but this is the situation: 

• Not all therapists are equipped to deal with childhood trauma (complex trauma) and CPTSD, which can result from it

But why, one might think, surely all therapists have long and rigorous training in their field? And yes, they do indeed—however, the system they operate in does not have a complex trauma lens. But why? Well…

The neuroscience we have today on childhood trauma/complex trauma and its effects has been with us for the last 20-30 years. However, despite these advances, this “new science” has yet to trickle into psychiatry and our mental health systems. One can fairly say it is heartbreakingly slow, which means that often there is a lack of awareness, with many mental health professionals not having a full grasp or understanding of the impacts yet. It does sound crazy, yes, we know.

This all means there is often a gap between research and clinical practice. In other words, people receive ineffective support and therapy—this is unacceptable, as it leaves people in prolonged suffering. The right therapy and education can be life-changing. Not only do many receive ineffective therapy, but some therapists and methods (modalities) can even create further harm.

“Trauma” - an Umbrella term

Because of the lag in neuroscience trickling into clinical practice within mental health services, many therapists don’t have formal training on complex trauma or the tools on how to address it. To make things even more confusing, the word “trauma” is an umbrella term.

You might see on a therapist's profile that it says “trauma therapist”; however, this does not mean that they are trained with a complex trauma lens or within the latest neuroscience.

Even though there are many similarities in the effects of all trauma, it is important to differentiate between adult trauma, single-event trauma (PTSD), and complex trauma from early years. To give you an analogy:

• A child suffering abuse or neglect during their early years will have different implications than an adult suffering the aftermath of rape or a car accident. These are different types of trauma with different impacts.

If you suspect you have complex trauma, you should see a therapist who has extended training in complex trauma.

What is CPTSD (complex PTSD)?

Some individuals who have experienced complex trauma in childhood develop Complex PTSD. As the name suggests, it is a more complex version of PTSD. It can be crippling to live with, and often many people don’t even know they have it, as they might never have heard of it or visited a psychiatrist for a diagnosis. Even if someone has visited a psychiatrist, they may have been given a different mental health diagnosis instead.

As mentioned earlier, the latest science on complex trauma has yet to trickle into our actual mental health systems. With CPTSD often being misdiagnosed or not diagnosed at all due to a lack of awareness, many people might simply think they struggle with anxiety, social anxiety, OCD, depression, etc. Indeed, they might experience these symptoms, but often they are the result of complex trauma from early years.

It can be life-changing to learn about CPTSD. It is not about victimhood or collecting diagnoses, but rather about getting the right information and support so we can heal our lives. It doesn’t matter if you have a CPTSD diagnosis or not; if you have complex trauma and struggle with your mental health, you might very likely fall on the spectrum.

Even though some great complex trauma experts and fantastic practitioners have recognised CPTSD since the '80s, it is only in recent years that one can get diagnosed with it in the UK and the rest of Europe. The United States still only uses the PTSD diagnosis, which is truly sad, as many individuals don’t get the recognition or support or they need.

Complex PTSD vs PTSD

This is an overview (and simplified explanation) of the impacts on the self; Complex PTSD vs PTSD; 

CPTSD vs CPTSD Impact on the Self 

While PTSD and C-PTSD share similarities, it’s crucial to distinguish between them.

C-PTSD is more than just a response to trauma; it involves deeply ingrained survival patterns and coping mechanisms shaped by prolonged complex trauma during our early years when our brains and bodies were still developing. For many childhood trauma survivors, there is no life or reference to "before the trauma."

Two critical but often overlooked aspects of C-PTSD are the emotional flashbacks survivors endure and the deep-seated shame that so often is ingrained in their identity. We will create another blog post to explore these two topics in depth.

Healing from childhood trauma

Healing from childhood trauma takes time and work; there is no magic pill or overnight cure. I wish I could tell you that you will be healed after a few sessions with one of our expert therapists, but that would be a lie. There were many years of harm, so it takes a little bit of time to heal. However, you might heal and improve your life faster than you could imagine with the right foundations. With the right type of therapy, education and tools, you can start healing your life.

Best therapies for healing childhood trauma and CPTSD

Whether one seeks private therapy or gets support via the NHS, it is most likely that you will be offered therapy that is not sufficient for your complex trauma needs, both in terms of the therapist's lack of expertise and the modality (approach) you are offered. We see it over and over again were someone with complex trauma is offered Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which is often useless and at times a harmful approach for complex trauma.

Many undergo years of mainstream talk therapy without understanding why their progress has stagnated, and oftentimes, we have been with a therapist who didn’t have the skills to support and address complex trauma. 

Each person is unique, so different therapeutic approaches (modalities) will work better for some individuals than others. A skilled childhood trauma therapist or CPTSD therapist will have expertise in multiple modalities specifically designed to address complex trauma. Most importantly, they will have specialized training in complex trauma, which is key to the healing process.

Where the mental health system has fallen short is:

• Failing to properly acknowledge or understand complex trauma.

• Not providing adequate training for therapists on complex trauma.

• Focusing only on the mind while completely neglecting the body and the developmental impact trauma has during childhood.

Mainstream talk therapy can be helpful to a point, but without understanding and addressing nervous system regulation (the body) and the developmental arrest caused by trauma, we’re only scratching the surface when it comes to healing complex trauma.

As children, it’s not just our brains that develop, but also our bodies and nervous systems. That’s why it's essential to take a mind-body approach in complex trauma therapy. 

Sadly, our mental health system often overlooks this by focusing only on cognitive approaches, ignoring that complex trauma impacts one’s developing nervous system and body as much as the mind.

Our mind and body are deeply interconnected, and effective healing from trauma must address both.

Awareness of Childhood Trauma: The Painful Yet Powerful First Step Towards  Healing

Many live a whole lifetime without waking up to their dysfunction. If you are reading this, it means that you have awareness; this knowledge gives you power. You can now take action to heal your life. Healing is difficult, but it’s better than staying stuck in survival patterns that don't serve us anymore. It is our only way forward to building the life we want for ourselves.

As a complex trauma survivor myself, I know the deep sorrow that comes with the awakening, the grief is immense. Before I learned that I had complex trauma and CPTSD from my childhood, I used to think that I had social anxiety, anxiety disorder, OCD, depression, eating disorder and more;  not understanding why I was so sensitive. Once I learned about complex trauma and CPTSD, it all made sense. There wasn’t anything fundamentally wrong with me; my body and brain were simply stuck in old survival patterns, and I realised I was a traumatised child surely looking like an adult woman but operating with the emotional dysregulation and stress from my early years. Reliving my trauma every single day through triggers at work, at home and with friends, constant waves of shame, anxiety and sadness, feeling like a bomb of shame.

How the heck had it been so many years and nobody educated me on complex trauma or CPSTD, it made me angry and sad as I know it would have made a massive difference in my life and healing journey. I am still angry, and I use this fuel (and a deep foundation of love) for the mission of UMA BOX. I don’t want people to continue to suffer in survival states, just getting by in their lives, everyone deserves to heal and live their lives to the fullest.

It is our duty here at UMA BOX to be vocal about this topic and to provide you with the right type of therapy and education, as the current standards in our mental health services are simply not good enough, we all deserve better.

We believe that you shouldn’t have to be an expert in childhood trauma yourself just to be able to find the right type of therapist. But most importantly - You deserve the right support. The path to healing from complex trauma may feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to walk it alone.

Before I say goodbye I wanted to recommend a fantastic book, many complex trauma survivors have expressed this book as being life-changing, and for me, it was too. The book is a heavy read and I recommend that you make sure you have time set aside for processing and taking care of yourself.

Pete Walker “Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving”, you can find Pete’s book on Amazon. 

Speak soon, 

All the Love,

Written by Nic,

Founder of UMA BOX